Grief Defense Mechanisms: Unmasking Our Natural Reactions and Simple Steps to Take Back Control
Hey Love,
At times, the feeling of grief can feel extremely overwhelming and it is not ‘fun’ or ‘comfortable’. chat about how in grief, we sometimes find ourselves resorting to some pretty interesting defense mechanisms to cope with it. So, let's dive into the six natural defenses of grief and some simple steps to overcome them, shall we?
Avoidance and Distraction: This one's a classic. When we're hurting, it's natural to want to run away from those icky, uncomfortable emotions. Instead of facing them head-on, we find ourselves constantly scrolling on social media or drowning in work to avoid them. A simple step to overcome: Take a few minutes each day to sit quietly and feel what you're feeling. It might be uncomfortable at first, but acknowledging your emotions can help you process them in a healthy way.
State Changing: Have you ever turned to alcohol, drugs, or other activities to avoid the emotional pain of grief? You're definitely not alone. But as tempting as it may be to alter your emotional state, it's important to face those underlying feelings. Simple step to overcome: Find new coping mechanisms that help you feel good without numbing your emotions. Maybe it's exercise, spending time in nature, or picking up a new hobby.
Analyzing: Ah, the art of overthinking. We all do it from time to time, especially when it comes to our emotions. But sometimes, analyzing our feelings too much can keep us from actually experiencing them. Simple step to overcome: Try some mindfulness meditation to help you stay grounded in the present moment. Rather than getting caught up in your thoughts, focus on the sensations in your body and allow yourself to simply be.
Blaming Others: It's easy to get caught up in narratives about who is responsible for our pain. But the truth is, blame won't help us heal. Simple step to overcome: When you find yourself stuck in the blame game, try shifting your perspective to one of forgiveness. This doesn't mean you have to excuse someone else's behavior - instead, you're choosing to release the hold their actions have on you.
Being an Empath: It's wonderful to be empathetic and feel connected to others, but sometimes, we can become so engrossed in other people's emotions that we lose touch with our own truth. Simple step to overcome: Take some time each day to check in with yourself. Ask yourself how you're feeling and what you need. Don't be afraid to say 'no' to things that don't serve you.
Somatic Responses: Our emotions can manifest in a number of physical symptoms, such as headaches or body aches. While it's important to take care of our physical health, it's also crucial to acknowledge and process the underlying emotions. Simple step to overcome: The next time you experience a physical symptom, take a moment to notice what emotions might be underlying it. Allow yourself to feel and process those emotions, then seek the right medical attention if needed.
Grieving is a challenging process, and overcoming defense mechanisms can be a crucial step in healing. Here are three simple ways someone who is grieving can begin to overcome these defense mechanisms:
Mindful Reflection for Avoidance and Distraction:
Simple Step: Set aside a few minutes each day for mindful reflection. Find a quiet space, sit comfortably, and focus on your breath. Allow yourself to feel the emotions that arise without judgment. This practice can help you become more aware of your feelings and gradually reduce the need for avoidance and distractions.
Mindful Activities for State Changing:
Simple Step: Engage in mindful activities that bring you joy without numbing your emotions. This could be practicing yoga, going for a nature walk, or engaging in a creative hobby. Pay attention to the sensations and experiences during these activities, allowing yourself to be fully present. Over time, you'll develop healthier coping mechanisms that contribute to emotional well-being.
Mindfulness Meditation for Analyzing:
Simple Step: Practice mindfulness meditation to cultivate a non-judgmental awareness of your thoughts and emotions. When you notice yourself overanalyzing, gently redirect your focus to your breath or present sensations. This can help break the cycle of excessive thinking and bring you back to the present moment, allowing you to experience your emotions more fully.
Remember, it's natural to rely on defense mechanisms to cope with grief. These steps are simple but may require consistent practice. Be patient with yourself, and consider seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional as you navigate the grieving process. But by taking small steps towards facing those emotions head-on, you'll begin to heal in a healthier and more productive way. So take a deep breath, my friend. You’ve got this!